New Year Resolution

My New Year's Day post was supposed to be about the resolution I had made this year. I was so apalled by the dark one's atrocious nomination I felt it rated discussion more.

Now that I have raved a bit, I can get back on topic. I have heard several other's resolutions this year. They ran the normal range, mostly. Lose weight, eat more healthily, make more money, be a better person, and so on. Unless I have misplaced one, I do not remember any which struck me as particularly unusual.

I, however, only made one resolution this year. Ready? Brace yourself.

I resolved not to make any resolutions this year beyond this one.

That's it.

As for why, an example from last year provides the best illustration. I resolved last year to not miss any aniversarys or birthdays. I wanted to send a card, an e-card, make a phone call or something more for every single occasion. A combination of several methods for each was my true goal. I decided to enter everyone's significant dates into my calendars and reminders and act on each as it popped onto my screen.

It was the worst year I have ever had.

I missed everything. Well, nearly. Might as well have been everything. Even when I knew the date was approaching, I failed to take action or prepare. Worst of all, I let my wife's birthday come and go without any significant gifts.

I am still miserable and self-tortured over that.

It's like I became the anti-celebrant. For my wife, in particular, I searched my brain and the internet for something that would both surprise her and she would truly enjoy. I got the first part right, I suppose. I would try to set aside some time to just go browse through some of her favorite stores to see what jumped out. Late evening would roll around and I would realize I had fed and bathed the boy, fed the puppy, done the dishes, gathered the trash, moved my nonsense out of the family room, put the boy to bed and NOT been anywhere to look for any gifts. It finally became too late to order anything online. I let the last day to have flowers delivered go by. I bought three different cards. If I ever find them again I believe I will round-file them. In short, it was the worst birthday performance I have ever managed. Ever.

Normally, she tells me I have gone too far. Too many flowers, too many cards, too many gifts, too expensive of gifts, too packaged, too silly, too over-the-top, too predictable, too goofy, too much effort, and, of course, too weird. You get the idea. I have tried to learn to tone it down over the years. I believe I am one of the few men on this planet who has actually been asked to STOP giving flowers. PLEASE. One more too: This last year I toned it down way too much.

This year I will do better. But I am not resolving diddly-squat.