Airline Ruins

As I type this the monitor before me is depicting the Texas landscape disappearing beneath and behind me. I used to love to fly. Everything about aircraft appealed to me. I wanted nothing more than to be a fighter jockey, nudging the controls, guiding a multi-million dollar machine through high mach numbers and obscene g forces. Motion sickness and near-sightedness slammed the bars on that dream.

Failing that, I decided I would design them instead. I became fascinated with aerodynamics, mechanical design, orbital mechanics, flight controls, electronics - the whole ball of wax. I obtained a position as an assistant engineer with one of the major airlines during my sophomore year. I loved it. It practically ruined me.

I approached the whole affair with gusto. I took advantage of every opportunity to be on or around the planes. I flew on every business trip I could finagle my way into. I spent hours, both on and off duty, exploring the repair bays, examining the components, structures and everything about these fantastic vehicles I could possibly absorb. It was a slice of heaven on earth.

Now I sit on one of the very same aircraft I was responsible for many years ago. All I can think of is: What have I done? I know the answers I have been using. The Berlin wall fell down and peace broke out around the world, thus causing the bottom to fall out of the aerospace engineering industry. I went to a tough, unfriendly school that helped me burn out on the whole concept of education. I delved into some very new-age concepts of pursuit of happiness and follow what you love which made the standard path of chase the money seem unenlightened. All true, but the two big reasons both came from my experience at the airline.

The first part of my downfall was my degree training. I barely used it. I had large quantities of physics, calculus and engineering coursework under my belt already. Instead of running calculations or anything resembling actual engineering, I was filling out reports and recommending manufacturer solutions to known issues. Some baggage worker punched a hole in one of the carbon-fiber bulkhead partitions and my entire function is to measure the whole and recommend repair method A or repair method B from the manual. None of the engineers around me were doing anything much different. They were all overworked and under-challenged. They would tell stories of the few tasks each had once had which required actual engineering skills. I found my outlook for the future becoming more bleak with each engineer I met. The foundation bricks of my future downfall were falling into place.

Then came the second part. The portion which turned out to be the coup-de-gras: The Macintosh.

Said airline was moving its engineering department into the digital age. Since the drafting department had just been transitioned, the decision of which platform was a slam-dunk for the Mac. I still remember my first drag-and-drop. I could not possibly have been more hooked. I was in on the ground floor of testing and installing EVERYTHING. We tested different networking solutions, potential printers, various scanners, every software solution in existence at the time, the latest Macs, and all the imaginable hardware accessories which might possibly be of use to the new digital engineering department. Like I said, heaven on earth.

So, my ruination bloomed. The seeds were sown and germinated. Many years later I find myself a frustrated graphic designer because I did not want to become a frustrated aerospace engineer. I tied myself to the machine of my dreams and watched many of them slip beyond my reach. I am even on this plane, one of the craft in the fleet I was responsible for, because of my wife's chosen path, not mine.

It turns out she and my son are among the very few choices I have made that have worked into dreams come true.